Playground Games
by MaggieMayI
Summary: Juliet is adjusting to life in the Dharma Initiative. Still not sure if she's going to leave on the sub, her and James talk about her reasons for staying and her reasons for going.
1. Chapter 1

This is just a little slice of life story about James and Juliet during their three years on the island. I'm curious (along with the rest of you) as to how their relationship developed! Won't be but a few chapters...just wanted to get the ball rolling. R&R! Any ideas for story direction are always welcome!

**Playground Games**

Chapter 1

It was just after dusk and Juliet found herself dragging her feet as she headed home. She, James and the rest of her team had been with the Dharma Initiative for just over two months. Juliet knew the sub was coming in tomorrow and if she wanted to, could be on it when it made the trip back. The past few months had been interesting for Juliet, she had learned a new job—a job which she found she rather enjoyed, and she had also learned a lot about a man—a man who only continued to intrigue her. Juliet had a million reasons to get on that sub and only one reason to stay—yet she was having a tough time figuring out just exactly why she would continue to put her life on hold for a man; for the life of her, she couldn't figure out why she couldn't make herself leave.

Sure she had read the file on James Ford, she knew all about his lifestyle, his many scandals and indiscretions, but over the past weeks, she had learned that underneath that rough exterior was something…more. If there was one thing Juliet learned while living with The Others it was patience, and she knew that in order for James to open up to her, she'd need a lot of it. Juliet never pried, she knew that when he was ready he'd talk to her; Juliet always considered herself a great listener. But the one thing about great listeners is, more often than not, they don't really get to do much talking of their own.

Juliet knew that James knew she was still considering getting on that sub—frankly, she had considered it every time it had returned so far. She always felt him 'around' more during those times. For those few days while the sub remained docked, he always seemed to be there, watching her, keeping an eye on her; she assumed it was because he didn't want her to go, but he never said a word to her. Juliet figured he just didn't know how to ask her why she didn't want to stay. Considering she had never felt the need to volunteer the information, it just became one of those things they were aware of, but didn't talk about.

As Juliet walked towards home she passed the playground. During the day, hoards of kids would be sliding down the slide and swinging on the swings, but now, everyone was home eating dinner and enjoying each other's company. Seeing the empty playground brought Juliet back to the last image she had in her head of her sister Rachel and her nephew Julian. The blackmailing glimpse Ben had given her of the two most important people in her life had been of them playing on a playground. _"They looked so happy." _Juliet thought as she sat down on one of the empty swings and brought that image to the forefront of her mind. A silent tear slid down her face as she slowly swung back and forth while longing for those she missed most.

* * *

James found her there, sitting on that lonely swing. He'd arrived home thinking that she'd be there; he secretly hoped that she had started making dinner because he was starving. A quick walk through the house told him she wasn't there, and for reasons unknown, he had gotten a tingling feeling in his stomach. _"Where could she be?"_ James wondered. Miles had told him that everyone in the motor pool had packed up for the night, but he thought he'd go over and check just to be sure.

As he started the walk towards the motor pool, James heard the familiar squeak of the swings on the playground. Glancing over he saw her shadow slowly swinging back and forth. She looked lost in her own world and for a second, James considered leaving her there; but he quickly changed his mind, telling himself that he'd just continue to worry until she came home. _"Worry?"_ he thought to himself. _"God what IS this woman doin' to me."_

James walked over—made some noise so that he wouldn't scare her. "Is this swing taken?" He asked as he pointed to the empty seat next to her.

"Have a seat James." Juliet said as she turned her head towards her one reason for staying.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for all of the reviews! Sorry so long for this one. Got a new kitten this week!!

Chapter 2

"Got a little worried when I found the house empty," James said nonchalantly, not wanting her to know about the quick jolt to the stomach he had gotten when he realized she wasn't there.

"I bet your hunger greatly outweighs your worry James." Juliet responded.

James chuckled. Where his stomach was concerned, she was always one step ahead of him. "Well you got me there" he said as he sidled over and nudged her. "Why the long face? Playgrounds are supposed to be fun."

Juliet sighed. She knew that she trusted James, but she didn't know if she could trust herself to stay composed. She tried so hard to remain strong and sturdy because she thought that's what James needed her to be. The last thing she wanted to do was to break down, especially in front of him.

"Do you remember Rachel?" Juliet asked. Over the past few months she and James had had a lot of discussions about people and things from their pasts. When he put his mind to it, James could ask a lot of questions. Knowing that he didn't know anything about her, she thought it was only fair to answer them seeing as she knew (or thought she knew) almost everything about him.

"Your sister, sure," James said as he quickly brought the details of the 'siblings' conversation they'd had into his mind. Considering he was an only child, the conversation had been pretty one-sided. "Is that what this is about?" James asked, truly concerned. He had no idea why Juliet was staying on the island, but he did know that her sister was her number one reason for wanting to leave. James just assumed she stayed because she knew that even if she left, she wouldn't be returning to the sister she knew; in the 70's her sister was just a little girl.

"I was so frustrated when I was working here with The Others. No matter what I did, what I tried, I just couldn't figure out why pregnant women were dying. I was defeated, lonely and terribly sad; all I really wanted was to go home and see my family." She paused, trying to find the right words—trying to keep herself from breaking down.

James didn't say anything. Juliet was always reluctant to talk about her past, if anything; she'd spin their conversations so that he would end up doing most of the talking. He was continually surprised that he cared about what she had to say, and that he wanted to listen to her. So James waited.

Juliet realized she'd opened herself up, but she also realized that she wanted to share her story.

"During my three years here before your crash, I lost a lot of women…9 actually. They all volunteered to become pregnant, knowing it was a great risk, but they all convinced themselves it was for the cause." She turned her head away as she continued to slowly swing back and forth. "One day, I lost a woman named Sabine. I was so upset, so completely defeated because no matter what I did, I couldn't fix the problem. The only thing I could think of was to take one of the women off the island so that I could do a comparative study…just to see where the problem was rooted. Ben told me that wasn't an option so I told him there was nothing more I could do, that I wanted to go home to my family. Rachel was 6 months pregnant at the time and I wanted to be home by the time she gave birth." Juliet glanced down and watched the toes of her shoes drag through the sand. "And you know what he said?" Juliet asked as she suddenly turned her head up towards James.

James shook his head, eyes looking into hers.

"He told me that my sister's cancer had returned; pulled some medical papers out of his bag as proof. Told me that Jacob could cure her, but that would only happen if I stayed on the island." She turned her head away once again. "That was the day I realized that no matter what I did, I wasn't getting out of this place."

more to come...


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks again for the great reviews. Updates should be more frequent from now on!

**Chapter 3**

"Juliet…." James said, his eyes pleading with her to continue because he didn't know what to say.

"So I stayed, continued my work…not that it progressed at all. Women continued to die, and I continued to maintain the pretense of a normal life."

Juliet sighed and gave herself another push. James watched her golden hair float through the air as she glided back and forth. Neither said anything for a few minutes, each was thinking about what she said and what it meant.

James' heart went out to her. The way she stated things so matter-of-factly; he couldn't imagine being kept from his family. His was taken from him so he knew what it was to lose someone you love, but the circumstance behind that particular loss created a whole different set of feelings for him. Over the past few weeks he'd gained complete respect and trust for Juliet, but this was the first time he felt something…different. Sympathy maybe? No. He knew it was something more—something deeper. It was true sorrow for the woman who was left to suffer her loss alone—who was forced to stay in a place she didn't want to be in. James had had his run-ins with the law, but for the first time he realized what it could feel like to truly be a prisoner.

"So what happened next?" James asked, curious to see just what it was that had changed this woman so completely. He needed to know what could happen that would transform a broken, lonely soul into a strong, determined, resolute woman. If change that magnificent was truly possible, maybe he still had a chance at a decent life.

"Well…," Juliet took a deep breath before continuing. "The day before my third anniversary of being on the island, some x-rays were delivered to me by Karl. When I looked at them I realized that whomever they belonged to, that person had a sizeable tumor on their spine; one that would need to be operated on. Turns out they belonged to Ben."

James looked over at her, quickly matching his timeline with hers. Knowing that all this took place mere months ago had him realizing just how fresh and new this all was for her. He didn't know why but until now, he had always thought that these events for her hadn't been so recent. It made him understand why she still was so anxious to leave—given their time travel circumstances. James reached out with his hand to squeeze hers, gave her a slight chin nod—asking her to continue.

"I snapped." Juliet calmly stated. "The illusion of stability I had created for myself came crashing down in that instant. Ben had promised me that Jacob could cure Rachel's cancer; I stayed here because it was the only way for her to get better. But how could Jacob cure someone as insignificant to him as my sister when the damn leader of The Others couldn't be cured? Ben obviously knew he was sick, why did Jacob let him get that way? Why didn't he do anything about it? I was confused, scared, furious and completely broken-hearted. All I could think was that Ben had lied—that my sister's cancer hadn't been cured—that I had been kept in this place for nothing."

"So what did you do?"

Juliet sighed. "I confronted Ben. Told him that if Jacob couldn't cure him, then there was no way he was able to cure my sister. I called him a liar, begged him to let me go home, pleaded that I didn't want to be there anymore, that I was done." Juliet hung her head for a minute then turned and looked James straight in the eye. "I guess I didn't want to believe that Ben was who he was, I thought he'd give in after seeing how desperate I was to leave, but he didn't." She shook her head as a thin lipped smile quickly played over her face. "He told me that he was telling the truth about Rachel being cured, but he refused to let me leave."

James whispered _son of a bitch_ under his breath as Juliet rubbed her eyes. She was surprised that there were no tears. She didn't fully understand why she wasn't more upset but figured that removing herself emotionally was the only way to save herself from losing control. If she thought about things too long, she would let herself realize that no matter what she did, she'd never get back to the sister she knew and the nephew she never met. After three years of fighting to get home, knowing that there was no home to go to was just too much for her to handle.


	4. Chapter 4

Almost to the finish line! Thanks again for all the great reviews! Next update will probably be the last!

**Chapter 4**

Any onlooker walking by the playground would see the two of them swinging back and forth in companionable silence, but if you got close enough, you'd clearly see that neither was happy about the place they were currently in—a place that had nothing to do with them sitting on a kids swing set.

"Do you want to head home Juliet?" James asked, thinking that maybe she was done with her story. "It's getting late; I could throw something together for us to eat."

"Trying to send me to my grave James?" Juliet replied while giving him a half-hearted Juliet smile.

"Har Har, Juliet. I'll have you know I can make a mean bowl of pasta!" he retorted, hoping that together they could lighten the mood.

"Only if I cook it and drain it for you and heat up the sauce." Juliet replied smartly.

"Well good think ya got my back then," James said quickly without really thinking.

Juliet smiled but he saw the way she drew back into herself. James silently swore; the last thing he wanted to do was make her decision harder. James didn't want to push her; he knew that she'd wanted to leave for the past few months, and that the only reason she stayed was probably because he had asked her to. The last thing he wanted was for Juliet to leave, but seeing her this way…he knew that there was no way he could continue to ask her to stay. He resigned himself to spending as much time with her as he could before she left—and that would have to be enough. He'd come to realize that at the end of the day, all he really wanted was for her to be happy.

Instead of standing up Juliet dug her foot into the sand and gave herself another big push. Taking that as a sign she didn't want to go home, James gambled that maybe she wanted to talk some more. "So the bug-eyed bastard refused to let you leave, but you got away anyhow. How'd you manage that?" Sawyer asked, hoping that she'd continue.

Juliet closed her eyes as she sailed through the air and was once again brought back to the picture in her head of her sister and nephew living normal, happy lives.

"Well…" Juliet started. "The day after I confronted Ben, an airplane crashed on the island." Juliet opened her eyes, looked over at James and gave him the first genuine smile he'd seen from her all day.

"The airplane carryin' yours truly?" James drawled out in his thickest southern accent.

"That very one." Juliet played on as she gave herself another push. "We heard the plane before we saw it…I'd never seen anything like it. From about thirty steps from where we are now, I saw your plane fall out of the sky, split in two, and crash on the island."

James thought about that for a moment. He remembered the experience of it, but couldn't imagine what it must have looked like to The Others. He remained silent, waiting for her to continue.

"Ben sent two men out after the plane, Ethan and Goodwin." She saw the recognition come into his eyes at Ethan's name. Juliet hadn't yet told James about Goodwin; she figured that was a story for another day. "Once they left, Ben took me to The Flame. He told me that my research had to continue, that there may be pregnant women on the plane and that I had to try to help them." She paused, slowing down her swing. "I didn't know what to say to him, the last thing I wanted to do was to help the man who had lied to me...but then he had me look at the screens."

James waited, wondering what had happened next.

"All around were news bits about your plane…the fact that it had taken off but then went missing. Then Mikhail made contact with Richard. One of the monitors flashed to a newspaper with the days date on it. Then the camera cut to a playground. It was my sister and my nephew." She paused, squeezing her eyes shut, remembering exactly how it had felt to see her—to see them. "She…," her breath hitched and James automatically reached out and grabbed her hand. "She looked so…alive—so healthy—so happy." Juliet couldn't help the tears that streaked down her cheeks. "And Julian, he was so big…James…," She paused, not knowing if she'd be able to get it out. "He was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen…" She hung her head as the tears continued to fall. "As quickly as I saw them, they were gone. I begged Ben for a few more minutes but he denied me. I pleaded with him again to let me go home but he wouldn't."

James didn't say anything, just continued to hold her hand as she let the tears fall. He knew Juliet thought that she was once a weak person, but even now in her moment of pain, James saw nothing but strength. She had beaten all odds and had broken free from her imprisonment. It was only now that James truly realized how close she was to making it home.

Juliet took a deep breath and let go of James' hand to wipe the tears off of her face. "Even after all that, I knew that Ben had kept his promise, that Jacob had cured Rachel. I was so grateful that she was alive, and I knew that I had to tread lightly around Ben from then on." Her voice got stronger as she continued on. "About five weeks after the crash, Mikhail gave me a folder containing information about a spinal surgeon that had been on the plane. I offered the information to Ben but he didn't seem interested."

"Why wouldn't he want the doc to save him?" James wondered aloud.

"Well I didn't know it then, but Ben always has a plan. He knew all about Jack way before I ever saw that file, he was just waiting for the pieces to fall into place."

"What pieces?" James asked.

"Oh long story short—being captured by your people under the name Henry Gale, having The Others kidnap Walt off the raft you built. Forcing Michael to double cross his friends in order to free his son. Bringing you, Kate, Jack and Hurley to us. You think you were a con man James? You ain't got nothin' on Benjamin Linus." She stated matter-of-factly.

James thought about the string of events that had brought him to be captured by The Others. He could almost taste the freedom of being on that raft, then the fear of being shot—having Walt being taken. He imagined that those glimpses of freedom were much the same for him as they were for Juliet.

"I wanted Jack to refuse to do the surgery. If Ben died, then I'd finally be free to leave. I felt like a terrible person for wanting that, but I didn't know what else to do. Obviously Jack had other plans. He promised to save Ben as long as Kate was set free. And we all know what happened from that point on.

James thought quickly back to that time, when him and Kate were running for their lives. When they ran into Alex—helped her save Karl. When they were stopped on the beach by a man named Danny. When Juliet had shot him—and by doing so had saved him and Kate. Who knows if James would even be alive if it weren't for Juliet. She risked her life to save his, risked her chance to be free of Ben in order to save two people she didn't even know. James knew his life was in her hands, both then—and now.

Last chapter coming soon!


	5. Chapter 5

This is it! Last chapter. Thanks for everyone who has stuck with me through this! The reviews have been fantastic!

**Chapter 5**

"You didn't know it then, but killing Danny was just another part of Ben's plan. Well not killing him exactly, but allowing you and Kate to go free. I was taking the steps necessary to become accepted by your group so that I could infiltrate it. Ben had formulated a plan where I would go to your camp to find the women who were pregnant so that the research could continue. What he didn't know was that I told Jack about all of his plans, and that Jack and I came up with a way to double cross him. The catch was that none of you could know about it. In order for it to work, Ben had to believe I was still complying with his wishes."

James thought back to when Jack first showed up with Juliet in tow. James didn't hold a high opinion of her, granted she had saved his life. Looking back on it now, he realized how brave she had been to come into the enemy camp. It took more than desperation, it took guts to do what she did.

"I know you didn't realize it at first, but the reason I left this place and went back to the beach with Jack was because I truly believed he'd be able to get me off of this island. I had to believe it because I didn't have any other choice." She paused, thinking about some of the moments she'd had with Jack and how she knew that his mind was elsewhere; but in a way—they'd used each other. He used her as a way to make himself believe that he wasn't in love with Kate, and she' d used him as her way off the island. Obviously it hadn't worked out well for her…she sometimes wondered if Jack was still trying to pretend he'd be better off without Kate. Juliet thought it unlikely.

She continued, "I thought of nothing else for three years and all of the sudden there was a man in front of me, promising me that he'd keep me safe, that he'd get me home. I had no choice but to believe him."

"And he left you here." James whispered under his breath. While James had made his choice to stay, Juliet had missed her chance to leave. He briefly thought about how different things would be if she had made it onto that helicopter.

"Yes he left me here James. And I hate him for it. But Jack made a lot of promises to a lot of people, it's no wonder he couldn't keep them all. But the way I figure, the right girl made it off the island. So I'm just here, living with that."

James looked away, knowing that while that comment stung his ego a bit, she was probably right. The doc always seemed to be one step ahead of him where Kate was concerned. This only reaffirmed James' choice to stay.

"And now I have that chance, in a few days the sub will leave and if I want, I can leave with it. For three years I've been trying to leave this island and now I can. Can you understand at all how that makes me feel?"

James knew how she felt, but he also knew she'd be going back to a world she didn't know. "But you're not going to go back to her."

"I know that James. I'll go back to two pig tailed girls running around, trying to make each others lives miserable. But isn't that better than nothing? Better than continuing to make the decision to stay away from my sister?"

"So how come you haven't left before this then? Juliet the sub has been here and back four times yet you've stayed. Why?"

She looked at him, and then looked away. She simply didn't know how to answer him. Their relationship—if you could call it that—was complicated. She could flat out tell him she stayed for him, but she wasn't sure how he'd react to that.

"_To hell with it,"_ James thought.

"Juliet I'm done playing games. I ain't gonna come right out and ask you to stay. It'd be selfish, and I know I'm a selfish man, but I can see clear as day that you have way more reasons for goin' than for stayin'. All I'm gonna put out there is that if Locke comes back, maybe he'll have a way to get us back to the future ya know? He'll show up with a lab coat, a shock of white hair and a gleamin' Delorean and we'll all climb in and cruise back to where we're supposed to be. He could get you back to your sister...the sister you want to get back to."

Juliet couldn't help herself but laugh. She didn't know how he did it but James always knew what to say. And in a way, his reasons made sense.

"Juliet, every time the sub comes in I get worried that you are going to leave, but I never have the guts to say anything. So I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say it once and for all…I need you here. The other guys are great, but no one…no one 'gets' me like you do. My life has been more normal in the past two months than it was for the past twenty years. I don't want you to leave, but I want you to know that if you do leave, I'll understand why and I won't hold it against you. You've been fightin' for the better part of three years to get outta this hell-hole and back to your family. I can't ask you to stay when you'll be happiest if you go. So there. I've said my piece."

"James…" Juliet said, not knowing how to respond to that. It touched her heart that he felt that way about their friendship—about their relationship, and with little surprise, she realized that she felt a lot of the same things.

"Don't say anything Juliet." He stopped her because he simply wasn't ready to hear her answer yet. "You have a few days before the sub leaves, I'll know your answer soon enough. For now, we'll just be." James didn't really know what else to say. He knew that there was something between the two of them, but it was hard to know exactly what. The last thing he wanted to do was to add pressure to a situation that was already very pressure filled. He hoped that Juliet would stay, but he knew that he'd done all he could. Not knowing what else to do, he simply placed his arm around her, squeezed her close and pressed his lips to her hair.

Juliet leaned her head on his shoulder as they continued to swing slowly back and forth—their two shadows becoming one.

* * *

Thanks to all the readers who made it this far!! I think I'll be following up with a piece involivng Juliet's decision (which we all know already!) but how James reacts when he finds out she's staying!! Starting new story today...hope to have the first chapter up soon!


End file.
